Today was one of those days when I would have given anything to be a stay-at-home mama. Seriously, anything.
Including my paycheck.
It wasn't that today was a bad day at work - it was fine. But my mind and my heart weren't at my desk and on my work. My mind and my heart were about eight miles away with my baby boy.
I have a wonderful job in a great community of people, that allows me a lot of flexibility - which I am incredibly grateful for. But deep down, I can't help but wish I was at home with Camden, teaching him and watching him grow in the wicked fast way he's growing. I could be taking care of the house and prepping meals - which is pretty much the opposite of my current domestic operations.
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I took a little walk today to get some fresh air, and while throwing myself a little pity party - I thought about how I'll feel if I miss Camden taking his first steps. Or saying his first word. Let's sum it up to say that I'll be more than a little devastated.
It's never easy to drop Camden off, but some days are easier than others if that makes sense. I think about the amount of time he spends with Jessica (or my mom during the school district's summer vacation), and it makes me so sad to think that it's time that I should be with him. And want to be with him.
I know working mothers are conquering their jobs, homes, and raising their families everyday. Some days I feel like I can do it all - but those days are somewhat few and far between.
I'm hoping that today was just one of those rough days and that tomorrow will be better. We got home from Jessica's and I'm pretty sure that I smothered Camden in about 600 kisses (give or take). He seems to be quite clingy after my first work day of the week - and I certainly wasn't complaining tonight.
Take Luck,
LP
I don't have kids yet but I can't even imagine what it's gonna be like when I get to this point... I mean, my plan is to work hard now and save for my future as a SAHM but who knows if my dreams will come true, ya know? Keep your head up, girly... You can do it :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the 600 kisses made both you and Camden feel better. Hope things are getting easier :)
ReplyDeleteOh mama :( I'm sorry you had a rough day!! I know we all have those days, just know that lil Cam loves you most and even though we don't want them to grow up.. Imagine when he can come running up to you to hug and kiss you when you get home from work :) your his mommy forever!
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