Intentionally

I've made it no secret that we've been busy (and duh, most people with a new baby are busy!).

It's all the normal stuff - work, trying to keep up with house duties, school work, activities, a "social" life, and occasionally - sleeping.

Being busy and "trying to do it all" has forced me to multitask.  A lot.  Probably 80% of my homework this semester has been researched and typed one-handed, with my wee child attached to my boob, hip, or shoulder.  Same goes for washing bottles, doing laundry, feeding the dogs... You get the idea.

Not surprisingly, the quality time that Ryan and I get to spend together has plummeted to a very sad amount.  With everything we have going on and my rising state of exhaustion, I try and go to bed as soon as possible after Camden goes to bed.  We spend a good amount of time in the same room - but we're both usually doing something else and not truly spending time together.

I promise I'm not complaining.  Or looking for sympathy.  I knew that having a baby would change things, and I knew that trying to juggle my final semester of graduate school while having a new baby would just add fuel to the already burning fire of this adjustment. 

What "free" time I have now is spent on school work. Trying to juggle all of this has made me a stressed, overwhelmed, and at times - irritable wife and mama. I do not want to be that person. 

I do have a point to this, I promise.

I have a new goal.  And it's to intentionally spend quality time with both Ryan and Camden.  In other words, I want to be intentional with our time spent together, both individually and as a family.

I want to spend time with Camden and not be worried about trying to get the laundry done (for example).  Since going back to work - I only get so many hours of time with him a day. There are chunks of time during the evenings where I am good about being intentional, but I could definitely be doing better.  I want to focus on soaking up all his chubby baby goodness and give him my undivided love and attention. 

I want to spend time with Ryan where we're not sitting on our laptops plugging away at homework, blogging, or internet surfing.  I want to discuss our days (or whatever!) and get some much needed, intentional time together.  We are pretty good about having little dates - going to dinner or a movie - but I don't want us to just go through the motions on those dates. I want to give him my undivided love and attention and not be thinking about what I need to do when we get home.

I want us to spend time as a family where Ryan and I are both interacting with Camden at the same time and actively doing things all together.

This probably sounds very simple but it's something I've been thinking a lot about.  The more I think about it - the more important it becomes.

I want to make sure I am nurturing the relationships I have with both of the boys in my life.

Thankfully, I know that in a few short weeks - a big weight will be lifted off of my shoulders/plate when I finish my graduate program.  Soon, my "free" time will get to be refocused.  And I cannot wait.  

After having this revelation of sorts, I encourage you to look at your relationships and see if you could be more intentional.  Trust me, it feels good.

Here's to spending my time intentionally.

Take Luck,

LP