Food Makes Me Cry

I'll apologize in advance for the recent burst of pregnancy and baby related posts.  But, here comes another one.

In everything I've been reading about pregnancy, and from all the women I've talked to who have been or are currently pregnant - everyone experiences different extremes of food aversion, morning sickness, and nausea.  Some experience just a little and some can hardly eat anything at all (or keep anything down).

Throughout these first 14+ weeks, food and I have been sea-sawing back and forth in a love/hate relationship.  For awhile I had all day nausea (luckily no vomiting) and it would kick up a notch at night.  I got in habit of eating as much as I could during the day since I knew that after 5:00 - nothing was going in the tummy.

Weeks 6 and 7 were my hardest.  There were days when I was completely miserable - laying on the couch in tears because I knew I needed to be eating, but the thought of food just made me feel even more horrible than I already did.  My mom suggested cottage cheese one day and I had to put the phone down to compose myself.  During those weeks I relied on juice, jello, pudding, saltines, and bagels.

Normally, I am a pretty picky eater to begin with - so I knew that "eating for two" (although not literally) would likely require me to branch out with my palette whenever I could.  I never really expected to find my most favorite foods to be repulsive... Or make me cry.

Between the nausea and hating-food-side of the sea-saw, cooking food for Ryan and I for dinner was not happening.  I felt so bad, but luckily he understood and did a lot to help himself or order out.

One day, several weeks ago, I got up the cajones to make us dinner and decided to do something easy - spaghetti.  The fact that I had to sit on the bar stool while cooking to keep from getting lightheaded is not important.

I prepared the meal and put it on plates for Ryan and I.  He dug right in and immediately commented on how good it was to have a homemade meal after all these weeks.  I, on the other hand... Stared at my plate in disgust and before long, started to cry.  Ryan stopped eating and gave me a look that resembled, "What the hell did I just miss?" and I cried out, "I don't want this!"  Totally dramatic and pathetic.

So, I cried*.  Cried because I had just spent my time and energy making this meal, and I couldn't even eat it.  I was absolutely repulsed by it and all it's saucy and noodle-y goodness.

*I would like to say that this has been my lone irrational crying moment during this whole hormonal journey.

A few days after this episode, I was texting with my best friend, Tiff, and she was asking how I was feeling.  I explained that I was feeling pretty good, but food makes me cry and didn't elaborate.  Her response was, "Why does food make you cry?" and I pictured her with a "What is wrong with her?  Why in the world would food make her cry?" look on her face.  I responded something like, "I don't know.  I made spaghetti and it made me cry because I couldn't eat it."

Welcome to the world of hormones and pregnancy.

I've had two wacky cravings so far.  And not that I was craving food that I wouldn't normally eat, it was the combination of the foods that would be strange together.

One night I was seriously craving lumpia and a salad from Spiro's, one of my favorite local restaurants.  Ryan compromised and got me lumpia that night and a Spiro's salad the next.

The more recent one was a hankering for Kraft macaroni and cheese and pancakes.  Again, I made macaroni and cheese one night, and a pile of pancakes the next.  Glorious.  And let me tell ya, those pancakes were the first food I've eaten in the last 8 weeks that actually tasted good.  No,delicious.

There's a strong likelihood that pancakes will now be a staple in my diet for the rest of my pregnancy.  And I'm OK with that.

At least they don't make me cry!

Take Luck,

LP