I Swear We Feed Them

I haven't written a post about our favorite pooches in awhile.  And today (er, this morning), they gave me the perfect writing material.

I have been cleaning since about 8:00, so considering it's only 11:000 - their shenanigans have all happened in a short amount of time.

I was cleaning Ryan's sink and took everything (shaving cream, razor, deodorant, etc) off of the counter and put it on the floor.  In that mix of toiletries, was his bar of Dial soap that he uses to wash his face.  I set the Dial soap on a plastic bag since the underside was sticky*.

*Why he refuses to use a soap dish is beyond me

I continued spraying and cleaning.  After I finished I looked down to find that the bar of green Dial soap had disappeared.

I was initially confused, but only for a second.  I knew the thief was the big boy, Brock.

Perhaps I should have prefaced this by saying that the boy loves hisself some soap.  Loves it.  When I am giving him a bath I have to constantly pull his head away from licking his soapy body and use my arm/elbow as a shield.  I'm sure it is very entertaining to watch.

Anyway.

I called (or more yelled) his name and he stayed hiding.  I went into "their" room and found him with the missing bar of soap in his slobbery, bubbly, jowl-full mouth.

He immediately dropped the now disgusting bar of soap on the carpet, showing me that he eaten almost half of it.

Good grief, dog!

I scolded him and then laughed at him because it was then that he was realizing his mouth was very soapy, and he didn't like that too much.

I called the vet just to make sure that the soap wasn't toxic in large quantities.  They assured me that he will be OK, but thanked me (and him) for giving the office staff a laugh.

Ha. Ha**.

**Can you feel the sarcasm?

I felt things were under control and kept on cleaning.

In between loads of laundry I found Sonny chewing a small piece of wood (thanks, Ryan) and a box of ear plugs (again, thank you honey).  One plug was confiscated, while I'm pretty sure the other met its demise in her belly.

It gets better.

Soon after, I found Sonny curled up on their doggy bed chewing on an ace wrap.  Lord knows where she found it, but nevertheless it was clenched in her paws and in her mouth.  When I grabbed it from her it only had one of the metal clips.

Glorious.

I cannot be sure that she ate the partner clip, but I cannot be sure that she didn't either.

It was then that I asked them both, "What is wrong with you?!!!!  I swear we feed you!!"

They just continued to stare at me with their sad little puppy eyes, licking their chops.

I swear we feed them.  But apparently Brock's gourmet chicken meals and Sonny's dog food aren't as satisfying as Dial soap, wood, earplugs, and metal.

Take Luck,

LP