I Swear We Feed Them

I haven't written a post about our favorite pooches in awhile.  And today (er, this morning), they gave me the perfect writing material.

I have been cleaning since about 8:00, so considering it's only 11:000 - their shenanigans have all happened in a short amount of time.

I was cleaning Ryan's sink and took everything (shaving cream, razor, deodorant, etc) off of the counter and put it on the floor.  In that mix of toiletries, was his bar of Dial soap that he uses to wash his face.  I set the Dial soap on a plastic bag since the underside was sticky*.

*Why he refuses to use a soap dish is beyond me

I continued spraying and cleaning.  After I finished I looked down to find that the bar of green Dial soap had disappeared.

I was initially confused, but only for a second.  I knew the thief was the big boy, Brock.

Perhaps I should have prefaced this by saying that the boy loves hisself some soap.  Loves it.  When I am giving him a bath I have to constantly pull his head away from licking his soapy body and use my arm/elbow as a shield.  I'm sure it is very entertaining to watch.

Anyway.

I called (or more yelled) his name and he stayed hiding.  I went into "their" room and found him with the missing bar of soap in his slobbery, bubbly, jowl-full mouth.

He immediately dropped the now disgusting bar of soap on the carpet, showing me that he eaten almost half of it.

Good grief, dog!

I scolded him and then laughed at him because it was then that he was realizing his mouth was very soapy, and he didn't like that too much.

I called the vet just to make sure that the soap wasn't toxic in large quantities.  They assured me that he will be OK, but thanked me (and him) for giving the office staff a laugh.

Ha. Ha**.

**Can you feel the sarcasm?

I felt things were under control and kept on cleaning.

In between loads of laundry I found Sonny chewing a small piece of wood (thanks, Ryan) and a box of ear plugs (again, thank you honey).  One plug was confiscated, while I'm pretty sure the other met its demise in her belly.

It gets better.

Soon after, I found Sonny curled up on their doggy bed chewing on an ace wrap.  Lord knows where she found it, but nevertheless it was clenched in her paws and in her mouth.  When I grabbed it from her it only had one of the metal clips.

Glorious.

I cannot be sure that she ate the partner clip, but I cannot be sure that she didn't either.

It was then that I asked them both, "What is wrong with you?!!!!  I swear we feed you!!"

They just continued to stare at me with their sad little puppy eyes, licking their chops.

I swear we feed them.  But apparently Brock's gourmet chicken meals and Sonny's dog food aren't as satisfying as Dial soap, wood, earplugs, and metal.

Take Luck,

LP

Fill in the Blank Friday

Another Friday is here again.  I cannot believe that it is almost April!

Time to fill in some blanks with Lauren!

[1] My greatest strength is looking at the positive or bright-side of things.

[2] My greatest weakness is getting or feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

[3] People always compliment me on looking young/youthful.  A lady at work asked me this week if I was married.  I said, "Yes."  She said she didn't think I was old enough to be married.  I asked how old she thought I was... And she said 20.  I know I will appreciate this more later in life.

[4] If you found me procrastinating you'd probably find me stretched out on the couch with a blanket over my head.  I figure if I can't see what I'm supposed to be doing - maybe it will just go away.  This never happens as I always getting my caboose off the couch and conquer.  I am not a good procrastinator.

[5] The most cozy place in all the world is our bed.  Memory foam mattress topper = Heaven.

[6] Something new that I tried recently was procrastinating.  I tried to intentionally ignore and put off homework and looming a project, but I caved.  Like I said, I'm not good at that.

[7] This weekend I would like to make the most of the time we have with Ryan's parents while they are in town visiting.  We have a whole week, but Hubby and I tend to be baked potatoes on the weekdays.

Now, please excuse me while I go and clean this house!

Take Luck,

LP

Thursday Thoughts

Thursday's are my favorite day of the week.  Linking up with Sar for Thursday Thoughts!

[1] I looked forward to the end of today all week.  It was a long one.

[2] I have a laundry list of cleaning that needs to happen tomorrow.  It is taunting me with big, scary, monster eyes.

[3] I stopped at the store today after work for three things.  A 6-pack of Bud Light, a box of baseball cards, and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo DVD.  Can you guess which items were for which residents of this household?  I bet you can.

[4] I was in a meeting today where the room smelt of old, dirty feet.  It was completely disgusting.

[5] I get to take a break from excessive cleaning tomorrow afternoon and hang with two of my favorite kiddos, Riley and Kennedy.  I am trying to come up with a fun craft or project we can all do together, but not coming up with much.  Is it wrong to enlist them in cleaning my house?

[6] Yesterday was apparently "I'm going to eat oodles off cookies" day.  I had four Girl Scout Thin Mints, two Albertson's chocolate chip and M&M, and one small scrumptious vanilla something-er-other.

Take Luck,

LP

Dear Monday

The weekends fly far too fast, bringing Monday's here way too soon.

Oh, well.  Time to write some letters with Megan!

 

Dear Monday, Five and a half hour meetings are just not cool.  Especially on a Monday.  OK, especially on any day.

Dear Sweet Puppy,  I know you will be the most perfect fit into the Haas family... Which is quickly becoming the House of Wieners.  You are so sweet and adorable, and now you just need a name!  You had a brother named Burrito, so I hope my suggestion of Quesadilla will be seriously considered.

Dear Pen in Laundry, I curse the day you were born... Er, manufactured!  Yes, it was my fault that I failed to check my own pockets pre-wash-and-dry, but why did you have to ruin so many good work clothes? 

Dear Glorious Weather, Please, please, please stick around! 

Dear Systems Engineering, I am trying very hard to stay motivated and keep a positive attitude but it is getting more and more challenging as we get closer to the semester's end.  The light is still looking small at the end of the tunnel.

Dear Hubby, Sometimes you go on a cleaning frenzy and it is totally out of the blue.  I appreciate these bursts more than I can say.  Plus, you look so cute with a Swiffer Duster in your hand.

Take Luck,

LP

Fill in the Blank Friday

It's Friday!  And this day could not have come any sooner.  I'm filling in some color-themed blanks with Lauren.  This is totally appropriate because I'm taking a break from painting our now wallpaper-less foyer!

[1] My favorite color is green.  And certain shades of purple.

[2] My home decor palette includes neutral, earth tone colors.  I just painted our previously green-floral-wallpaper foyer an earthy-brown "Caramelized Onion" color, courtesy of Lowe's and Valspar.

[3] Other people always tell me I look good in the color green.  They say it brings out my eyes.  'Tis true.

[4] The color I detest is pink.  I have never been a pink kinda gal.

[5] If you were to look in my closet most of the colors you'd see would be green, purple (dark), blue, and grey.

[6] A color that I cannot pull off no matter how hard I try is pink.  Maybe this is because I do not like wearing this color and whenever I try, my face contorts into a "I don't do pink" kind of look.  Maybe I should just stop trying.

[7] The color of my favorite dress is a floral red-blue-yellow-cream with a black satiny "belt" that ties into a bow.  That reminds me I need to do some dress shopping.  I really want a maxi dress, but am afraid it will look hideous.  I guess this is where fitting rooms are appropriate?

Take Luck,

LP

Warren Pierce

Apparently I have an alias: Warren Pierce.

I was returning a call from the doctor's office this morning and when the receptionist asked my name, I said it.  

Lauren Peters.

I expected her to say, "Hold on," or "One moment please," but something different happened entirely.  Either I had a momentary identity crisis and said Warren Pierce, or she heard Warren Pierce because her response was, "Warren Pierce?"

Uh. No?

I cleared my throat and clearly stated "Lor-ren Pee-terrs."

Thankfully, she got it right that time.  How embarrassing.

This isn't the first time I've (apparently) mumbled my name, either.  Every once in awhile (usually if I'm in a hurry and on the phone) I do not enunciate properly and it comes out sounding less than clear - and more like Warren than Lauren.

There was this one time when I said my name face-to-face with a customer service man at a Southern Illinois Mediacom.  Apparently that day I not only sounded like a Warren... But I looked like one too.  The dude was looking at me and still thought I said Warren.

And now, I can't even say Peters correctly?  I don't know what's wrong with me.  It's not like either of these names is phonetically challenging.  Right?  Right.

After this happens and I wonder why, I cannot help but go back to two stories from my childhood as a possible reason for the mumbling mess.

The first is when my parents (or any adult) would ask me my name and our conversation would go something like this:

Adult: What's your name?

Me: Woowen

Adult: Woowen?

Me: Nooo, not Woowen. Wooowen!

The second is that my favorite movie was An American Tale.  The villain in the movie is Warren T. Rat.  My favorite Uncle Dave started calling me Warren T. Rat for reasons that are unknown to me*.

*I've been told I was a tad precocious and slightly obnoxious but I like to think Warren T. Rat was a term of endearment.  But probably not.

Source

So considering all this information... Maybe I'm destined to be stuck with a Warren Pierce alias?

Geesh, I hope not.

Take Luck,

LP

Dear Monday

Monday, again?  I guess so.  Time to write some letters with Megan.

Dear Monday, I would say that in comparison to my tear and doctor-filled last Monday, you weren't so bad.

Dear House Projects, You are seriously never ending.  Oh, the joys of being a home owner.

Dear Liam, I cannot wait to meet you.  Neither can your Uncle Ryan.

Dear Wallpaper Removal, I now consider you to be a form of torture.  

Dear Academic Motivation, I still have seven weeks of school left.  You cannot fail me now!

Dear Dairy Queen, I may be treating myself to a miniature Oreo Blizzard this evening.  It will be my reward for sitting through class.

Dear Hubby, I just watched you try to get out of your stinky work clothes while keeping an iron-grip on the bag of Trader Joe's Spicy Soy & Flaxseed Tortilla Chips.  I far underestimated your talents.

Take Luck,

LP

Thursday Thoughts

I've been home sick this whole week, so it came as quite a shock when I realized today is Thursday.  Here are some Thursday Thoughts, hosted by my real life friend, Sar.

[1] Apparently my wish on Monday to have a spring break from work, came true.  I guess I should have been a bit more specific and included a disclosure that said it wouldn't be due to sickness or illness.  Today, my voice has finally returned but my cough is worse than ever.

[2] I tried to go to work yesterday.  As in, I went in.  But they sent my patooty home real quick.  I did not complain, and didn't need to be told twice.

[3] I lounged on the couch yesterday (after being sent home) and watched My Week With Marilyn.  I loved it and would definitely recommend it if you are looking for a movie to watch.

[4] Ryan came home from the gas station today with a Caramello in hand.  I hadn't had one since college, and it was incredibly delicious.

[5] I love Pauly Shore.  Not so much BioDome, but I could definitely watch Encino Man, Son In Law, and In the Army Now anytime.

Take Luck,

LP

It's a Baby Shower!

Sunday was the big baby shower day.  As luck might have it - it was the day that my sickness started escalating.  Who doesn't want to come to a baby shower hosted by a gal who sounds like an geriatric smoker?

I sound and feel worse now... But that's beside the point.

The shower went great.  The biggest hiccup was that we were planning on 20 guests and only 10 showed up.  We had a lot of extra food, but when is that really a problem?

I was initially worried about decorations and the small details of the party - but Party City and small sunbeams of my own creativity came to rescue.

Party City had the perfect "theme" decorations that went with the colors Jessica had been planning on painting the nursery.

My small sunbeams of creativity came to me in the form of onesie and bib clotheslines - which I am happy to say, were a hit.

Thank goodness Jessica's sister-in-law offered to help.  She prepared lots of food, and I put together a vegetable tray and cupcakes.  I may or may not have hidden a small plastic baby in one of the cupcakes.  Whoever got the plastic baby (and didn't choke on it!) won a prize.

I tried to encourage guests to bring a package of diapers too by enticing them with the hopes of more prizes.  It worked!  Little did they know that the prize was a mere $5 Starbucks gift card.  Who doesn't love a free (and unexpectedly free!) coffee?!

We played one game... The infamous guess-what-melted-candy-bar-resembling-baby-poop-is-in-the-diaper.  Who doesn't like putting their face in a messy diaper?  Even when you know it's chocolate - it still just feels wrong.

Luckily, I was in charge of melting the chocolate, smooshing it in the diaper, passing it around, and sharing the answers at the end.  Alas, I did not participate in the diaper sniffing.  I must say I was impressed with the diapers and their ability to mask the smell of the candy bars.  I guess they did their duty*.

*Duty/Doodies.  If you watch Friends religiously like me, you will understand and appreciate this Chandler reference.

Stacy, a guest at the shower, made this amazing and adorable diaper cake.

I'd say my first baby-shower-throwing experience was a success. 

Although...

I had gotten an idea from my sister-in-law's baby shower - to ask guests to bring a baby book (instead of a card) to help Jess build a little baby library.

Yeah, everyone remembered.  Except me.

Shiza.  Baby shower host fail.

Jessica's sister-in-law tried to make me feel a little bit better by saying, "Now you can buy a book knowing it won't be a duplicate??"

And yes.  She posed it as a question, not a statement.

I guess if that was my biggest flub of the day, I'll take it.

Take Luck,

LP

Dear Monday

Monday, Monday.  Bleh.  Here are some letters to start the week with Megan!

Dear Monday, You began with tears.  And coughing.  A little gasping for air.  And an inner plea to magically feel better.

Dear Bronchitis, I really really dislike you.

Dear Prednisone, So we meet again.  We were grandly familiar with each other back in 2007, and I had hoped we would not cross paths again.  At least this time it's only for five days.  

Dear #marchphotoaday, I couldn't help but double-check to make sure I saw today's photo challenge correctly, and then I saw that I was indeed correct.  It was easy to pull open our silverware drawer, but then I wondered - who really cares about pictures of forks?

Dear Kennedy, I cannot believe you are four.  I hope you do not wish to have any more birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese.

Dear Baby Shower, I'd say that you were a great success.  I planned for 20 and only 10 showed up - but better than the other way around!

Dear "Spring Break," I really wish that this meant I got a week off of work too.  Darnit!

Dear Doctor Hubby, Sometimes you are really good at making me feel better, and sometimes you make me want to punch you.  For example, when you tuck me in and give me some juice and a sweet kiss - this is good.  When you tell me, "You'll be ok, I've felt worse than this before..." - this is not good (refer to the punching scenario).  I appreciate your efforts, and love you all the same.  Maybe more.

Take Luck,

LP

Fill in the Blank Friday

Hooray for Friday!  Time to fill in some blanks with Lauren.

[1] My favorite room in my home is the living room because its where we spend most of our time.  We bought our sectional couch so we could all be comfy-cozy together while lounging.

[2] My current decor style is a work in progress, but I wish it were more put together.  I see things and styles that I love on blogs, Pinterest, and in magazines - but I don't have the time, energy, or motivation to focus on anything.  It's on my (growing) to-do list!

[3] I wish I could redecorate every room in my house to make it more modern.  Our house was built in the 60's and while there is nothing we HAVE to change, there is something in every room that I would LIKE to change or update.

[4] My dream house absolutely has to have an open kitchen, a bathroom off the master bedroom, a fenced-in backyard, and a man cave... So Ryan will stop whining.

[5] One house item I am will to splurge on is major home updates.

[6] A decor trend that I just don't "get" is having a room that is purely for show - one that isn't lived in.  This may not count as a trend, but it is certainly something I've never understood.

[7] Pictures, photographs, and personal items are little touches that make my house feel like a home.

Take Luck,

LP

Thursday Thoughts

It is appropriate that today is Thursday.  And since I have some thoughts to share - I only seems more appropriate to link up with Sar for Thursday Thoughts!

[1] I need to mentally prepare myself for the next seven months.  Baseball season is officially here.  How do I know that?  Because not only is audio coverage of Cardinal Spring Training blasting from Ryan's laptop, but MLB Baseball is constantly on TV.  Muted.  Don't want to miss any action, now!  Lord, help me.

[2] We recently watched True Grit (Cohen brothers) for the third or fourth time and it is easily becoming one of my favorites.  It wasn't until this latest time that we realized the cast does not speak using any contractions in their grammar during the entire film.  During the film, Mattie Ross falls down a hole where there are rattle snakes (and yes,when I first typed this - I wrote snacks).  When the Marshal calls down asking if she can climb out, she replies, "I cannot!  There are snakes!"  

So now, if Ryan asks me to do something, I put on my wise-ass hat and say, "I cannot!  There are snakes!"  Thanks for the ammo, Cohen brothers.

[3] I work in a male-dominated environment, and its something I've gotten used to over the last three years.  However, I have never been more grateful than I was today to work with some seriously ball-busting-hard-ass-no-nonsense-women. 

[4] My sweet niece, Kennedy will be four years old tomorrow.  Four going on 27.  Some days I wish she was still unable to say Lauren correctly.  I liked when she could only say Nonen.

This past weekend she found a video of Brock on my phone.  It was a video of him crying/whining for no reason.  Our conversation went like this:

Kennedy: Why is Rocky crying?

Me: Because is a big, silly baby.

Kennedy: You need to love him.

She said it so straight-faced and matter-of-factly, I didn't have the heart to say anything more.

[5] I hate how I feel so very motivated to work out/exercise while I'm at work - but when I get home... All motivation has gone out the door.  What up with that?

Take Luck,

LP

Dear Monday

Weekends go by too fast.  Not that I don't enjoy writing these letters.  Still.  Too fast.

Time to write some letters for the week with Megan!

Dear Monday, I spent most of the day making phone calls, which is totally out of the ordinary for me.  Talking about obsolescence management and babies sure makes the day go by fast.

Dear Garage Door Opener, Please start magically working.  It is a pain in the hieny to back out the Subie, put it in park, get out of the Subie, run back into the garage, slap the button, run and hurdle the garage door sensor (paying close attention not to hit my head on the lowering door), and get back in the Subie.  Get it together!

Dear Daddy-O, I am sorry you are sick.  I think you need a "Get Well Soon" video from the little people.  It sure seemed to help Rachel!

Dear Monday Night Class, I loathe thee.

Dear House Projects, Why do you seem never-ending?  Oh, that's right.  Because you are.

Dear Favorite Mother and Father-in-Law, You will be visiting us in 25 days!  Who's ready for Mexican Train Dominoes?  We are!

Dear Hubby, This afternoon you found out that you get to watch the Cardinals play tomorrow on MLB TV.  If I hadn't heard you screaming, "I get to watch the Cardinals game, babe!  I get to watch the Cardinals game, babe!" I would have thought you were jumping up and down because you had won something important.

Take Luck,

LP

Little People Wishes

While I was hanging with two of my favorite little people yesterday, Kennedy and Riley... I had an idea.

They love their Uncle Ryan, and since his birthday was on Friday - I thought he deserved a little "Happy Birthday" video.

While they were cooperating, I decided that their favorite Aunt Rachel needed a video too.  Poor Rachy has been really sick the last few days - so I hoped that this would help her... Even just a smidge.

It was so hard not to laugh because of all the cuteness.

They (especially Riley) didn't want to be filmed unless he could see himself on the phone.  Lucky for me, my handy iPhone has the camera switching capabilities.  I think we made four or five - including one dazzling rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and the "ABC's"

Enjoy!  And just try not to laugh at these two.

Take Luck,

LP

Media Escort

Today for work, I got to play media escort.

CVN 74, the John C. Stennis came back home today, and around 11:30am it pulled back into Puget Sound Naval Shipyard after a seven month deployment.  4,000 family members and friends were gathered on the freezing pier to welcome their sailors home.

My job was to follow around someone from the Seattle PI and make sure he 1) Didn't take any photographs of things he shouldn't have, 2) Didn't ask any politically-fueled questions, and 3) Made the homecoming the focus of his story.  Easy enough, right?

This experience was truly incredible.  Besides freezing my patooty off, I was completely in awe of the thousands of people that came to welcome home this ship and the "feeling" that was in the air.

There was excitement in the air from grandparents, parents, wives, husbands, fiances, girlfriends, boyfriends, children, and friends who were all anxiously and patiently waiting in the freezing cold.

We (the media and the escorts) had a front row seat to all the action.  I felt so horrible for everyone waiting for their person to come off the ship.  Even after they pulled up to the pier and tied up, we had to wait another 30 minutes or so before anyone actually came off.

The best part was getting to witness all of the reunions.  The one's that got me the most were fathers who were meeting their children for the first time... Babies that had been born while they were out on deployment.  It melted my heart in a way I don't know I can really describe.  I cannot imagine what that would feel like - for the father or the mother.

There were two proposals that had been arranged, but they happened so fast that I didn't get to snap a picture fast enough.  Darnit!

When I was getting briefed before heading down to the pier, the Public Affairs Officer for our Naval region was talking about how cool it would be if someone from the media was able to capture two male sailors kissing on the pier.  I know everyone has very different views on this subject, but because of the recent repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," catching this sort of thing would be a really big deal.

Just as the Seattle PI photographer that I was escorting was about to wrap up, a male couple happened to catch his eye and he started running after them.  So, I had to start running too.  This was quite difficult because my legs and feet were not wanting to function.  Anyway, his eye and running made up for it.  He was able to capture a sailor being welcomed home by his boyfriend.  

Incredible.

This experience served as a reminder of all the things I take for granted.  Most importantly - I have my freedom because of the sailors I welcomed home today, and the rest of our armed forces.  And, I get to see Ryan whenever the heck I want.

I would love to do this again some day, but maybe in the months between June and October when it's a little bit warmer.

Take Luck,

LP

Fill in the Blank Friday

Friday is here at last!  After a week off, it is time to fill in some blanks with Lauren!

[1] The highlight of my week was creating a scavenger hunt for Ryan to find some of his birthday gifts.

[2] If I had to classify my interior design aesthetic it would be a work in progress.

[3] My first vehicle was a 1990 Volkswagen Cabriolet Convertible.  White on white.  Sexy.

[4] An item I need to have in my day in order to function is breakfast.  I love breakfast.

[5] My favorite way to waste time is taking naps.  Any time of the day.

[6] Right now I could really go for a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a gigantic vanilla latte.  And a nap.

[7] This weekend I will be celebrating my Honey Bunches of Oats' 28th birthday!  And relishing being anywhere other than work.

Take Luck,

LP

Birthday Boy

Ryan turns the big 2-8 today.  It feels like it was only yesterday we were celebrating number 27.

I think the old man is in a little bit of denial about this birthday, since he is inching closer and closer to 30.  But, because I am such a good wife.. I remind him every opportunity that I have.

Last year I sent him on a scavenger hunt around the house for his gifts, and he got quite the kick out of it.  I'm doing it again this year, but he will be searching for Stan Musial baseball cards instead.

Ryan makes me laugh.  A lot.  And he can brighten any day or any mood I might be in.  He sings loud and off-key, does the dishes after being prompted, and puts up with my roller coaster of womanly emotions.

He likes to shave his facial hair into (sometimes) horrible styles and then tries to convince me that he is going to keep it that way for a prolonged period of time.  Usually, I believe him for about 12 seconds, and then start praying that he is kidding.

Handlebar Moostache

Ryan is a great puppy-Daddy.  He lets Sonny crawl up into his t-shirts and always reaches to snuggle with her first when we climb into bed at night.  This usually prompts a little whining and complaining from me, saying he loves her more.  He says he doesn't love her more - just likes cuddling with her more.

Hubby insists that Brock gets to sleep with us (in our bed) on the weekends.  Every night I try to lay down the logic of A) Brock weighs 70 pounds, B) Brock doesn't know how to curl up, C) Brock only knows how to stretch out comfortably, D) Brock never sleeps through the night, and E) I am the one who gets up with him and puts him in his cage.  In the end, I just give up and agree with the Daddy.  He loves the big fella.  And so do I.

So, Happy 28th Birthday to my dearest and most favorite Hubby.  Wishing you lots of joy, love, and laughter today and every day of the year.

I am so happy you are mine!

Take Luck,

LP